Like many other girls, I used to write a diary since I'm a teenager. Why did I do it? I can't tell exactly. Those weren't happy memories, why would I want to keep them? Perhaps I realized that without memories, others could lie to me about the past. Perhaps I wanted to understand myself in those confusing years, by trying to put my thoughts into words. Perhaps I just wanted to trust someone to talk about life and a world that started to show scary, and all I found were those empty pages.
Whichever the reason was, isn't relevant. I have several diaries plenty of scattered memories, and they are important to me. I don't want to dwell in the past, but I want to understand why things happen, and so I've reviewed them at times. I've stopped feeling the anger, but I've never wanted to forget. Reviewing my life as I grow has helped me understanding where my mistakes were, what I should avoid, and why I behave at times in a very nervous and unreasonable way. It has also helped me understand why others behaved the way they did, and forgive them, when that was the right thing to do.
Time goes by, and paper sheets are substituted by Internet. Not completely: I still write down on paper. As I tell stories, or think loud voice (loud typing?), I feel the same need of keeping all those memories, my memories, in a place where it's easy for me to review them. One can say that it's a compulsion of mine, and I don't care. Or that I'm a control freak. I don't care either. They are my memories, they belong to me. I need to be able always to review my behaviour, my principles. I need to be able to see where's danger. It doesn't matter why.
Blogs are easy for that purpose: everything is linked, and you can always add an archives section. But that doesn't happen in other places. Twitter (which I don't use), Facebook (same) or... The SL feeds. Many of them have a clumsy navigation system: all you can do is "load more". Once you've written enough, this can take ages, if it loads at all. Your past gets, thus, buried.
I've been thinking for a while about doing a manual task of archiving my sillyness in the feeds. Perhaps it's stupid, but it is my sillyness, and I want to be able to review it. The SL feeds started to contain a part of the memories of my life, so the "control freak", if you want to say, also wanted to keep them handy.
This weekend I was updating the store web as well as the marketplace listing. It has driven me mad to wipe all the items to retire, update the corresponding store web entries, update with items I hadn't uploaded yet, redone pages, documentation, rearranged links, reviewed licenses... and in the middle of all that madness, I've seen my "perfect chance". The SL feed was collaborating this morning, and I've been able to load up to my first entry. From there, I've compiled the archive of entries and pictures that, one way or another, are relevant to me. Since the last year I didn't use the feed much, I've made an unique entry for it, and then the rest, I'm archiving them by the month.
They will be accessible from this page, which now is also at the top of the blog: welcome to my feed, welcome to a part of my life. (But don't believe everything you read! At times I like to bait!)
PS: Don't expect anyway much seriousness in my feed. At times I make fun of what I consider stupid. Also, often I share links of things that make me smile or laugh. And I don't want to lose those either :-)