Sunday, December 1, 2013

Auryn's Quest: Everything about BFF

Lately, I was feeling as if life had turned too serious. Deadlines. Reflecting. Having to pee sitting on a frozen toilet. No more cheese in the fridge. Having to go buy more cheese. It's so exhausting to keep a straight face all the time. So I decided I would explore the daunting "exterior world". My last reads made me aware of creatures called "BFF", and I felt the need of investigating. That would make for an interesting quest! Maybe new friends to talk to!

Of course, it wasn't going to be a blind quest, and so I started listing reasonable questions whose answers I should look for. Beginning by the obvious!

So, what is a BFF? Which is their natural environment? Are they lonely creatures, or social ones? Which are their mating rituals? How about their eating habits? Are they friendly? Do they like reading in bed, or are they more of TV users? And the music? Do they like Mike Oldfield, by chance? Beatles? Nacho Cano? Any special preferences when it comes to shoes? Will they wait for me to go sleep and then eat my feet?

I decided I should wait to find those mythical creatures before making more questions to myself, for I am not the one having the answers. Weather was starting to chill, and I didn't know for how long I should be outside. So, I equipped myself in comfortable clothes and two rations of cheese. I was ready!

Dubious at first about which direction taking, I finally stepped outside from my platform. I of course forgot that stepping off the platform meant falling for almost 500 meters. A couple of bruises, but no major injuries that I should lament. The Lola's, though... I don't think I can use them again.

Well, each investigation has its risks and its losses. I dug a hole, buried the Lola's inside, and started walking.

After two hours walking north, then south, and why lying, being completely lost in a little maze of twisty passages, I finally heard a noise coming from some trees. Cautiously, I strolled up to the sound's source, and found a couple of exotic creatures. They were looking at me, I was looking at them, and I thought that the polite thing to do would be to greet and ask.

"Hello. Please excuse my intrusion. Do you happen to know where do I find a BFF?"

Their puzzled stare made clear that we would have serious issues communicating. Perhaps they're strangers and don't know the language. I should later check in Google from what country they're from, and add it to my report.

I continued walking, lost again in a twisting maze of little passages, and smiled widely when I stumbled upon found a representative of my gender. She obviously was from another species, perhaps a BFF? But no doubt, she was somebody that would understand me!

"Hi! Are you a BFF?"

I could hear the wind across the trees. A couple of bushes rolled between us, running to find a river and have in there a dramatic end for all their dreams of freedom. Birds were singing. The sky was clear. Temperature was 10 degrees (Celsius). The sea was calm. The Moon was Full. The representative of my gender continued to be silent. Either she was thinking I'm stupid, or she was waiting that I would read her mind for the answer. Sadly, I failed all of the psychic practices in high school, and eventually resigned to continue waiting for an answer. I went, alone and slightly disappointed.

I can't count all the hours that followed. I wasn't sure anymore if I had turned to east, west, or where. All those trees were a mortal trap, a twisty little maze of passages waiting for my last breath. My legs were tired, and what was worse... I was running out of cheese. I fell on my knees, in despair, and cried out loud:

"What has a girl to do, to learn what's a BFF?"

It was then when I felt their presence. I knew it was them. Hidden behind the trees, I could first see the shadows, then bright red eyes staring a me in... was that anger?

I had no chance to stand up and friendly ask if they were the mythical BBF creatures I was looking for. Several lightnings hit me. Now that answered many of my questions.

I let myself fall in the cold water of a close river. It alleviated the pain of my burns. That made to boil a couple of fishes that were close, though. My apologies: it wasn't intentional.

I finally walked outside the water, waited for my clothes to dry, and started drafting my essay about BFF living beings. I reached to a conclusion and wrote it down: if I've learned anything about these mysterious BFF creatures, is that they have no sense of humor... at all.

This post is a rendition to Sin Noticias de Gurb, Uncle Travelling Matt and Colossal Cave Adventure.


  1. I love the whimsy in your writing! I think you combine a childlike inquisitiveness with an adult's world-weary realism in ways that are not easy to do yet you pull off perfectly!
    Plus, you seem to have an inordinate fondness for cheese, which is fine by me :)

    1. Thank you!

      I think I can't thank enough my parents for they never made me to stop asking questions when I was a little girl, and so I've grown up with that curiosity, naive at times, asking anything and everything about everything.

      As for the cheese, all I can say is... "more cheese!" :-)