"The website that didn't want to be"

I was so close! The website would have been live a bit more than a month ago. I bought a new hard drive to make all the pending backups I needed to and that for many varied reasons, I couldn't do before. The new hard drive was installed and I rushed into copying files there. Go, go, go...

Early in the evening, the system slows down dramatically and it finally freezes. No, no, no...

Yes.

The hard drive died, while I was trying to back the data up. Too late.

I brought the computer to a local store and while the guy was checking if the disks were alive, the power supply died with a bang that made his UPS to turn everything off at the place. That was fun to see. Sort of. I almost laughed. I'm glad I didn't because the best was to come.

Well, maybe it's finally time to get a new computer. (She said, after seven years of loyalty to her old machine.)

The new computer arrived two days later, Friday evening. I bring it home, Debian Linux is installed, things begin to be set up. On Sunday I log into SL, wow at the graphics and the FPS I can get. I take a few pics. I think about the dead hard drive, but I also think of how to start rebuilding my work with the help of the latest backups I had. And then, for no reason at all, the computer reboots. It does again, and again. It does again later in the day. It does randomly, for no apparent reason. It seems I can't start rebuilding my work yet.

On Monday I call to the store. Houston, we have a problem. Since I was developing a script with a deadline, I couldn't bring the new computer to the store immediately. Rather, we tried figuring out what the heck was wrong while I tried finishing the script, testing things that could give a clue about which part was causing the problem. Little more than a month later, after some bumps in the road of replacing parts, it seems that the new computer is finally working as it should. Stories like the weekend without (new) computer because the replacement of the new power supply died are to be told during Halloween, around a campfire. The culprit of the whole new computer mess was indeed the power supply, so if you see that your computer randomly reboots, consider it as a possibility so you don't have to be pulling your hair for a month trying to find out what's wrong.

Many important files died in the backup I was trying to do, and if you ask me why I didn't have a RAID set in place or why I didn't get another drive earlier, or why I didn't do this and that... I could tell you yet more horror stories, but since we humans are going to judge anyway without understanding the particular life situation, I'll simply answer You know nothing, Jon Snow and save all the explanations that would go nowhere.

I haven't given up yet on the data of the dead hard drive, and that's yet another story. But there's something that didn't die in the middle of this: the website. I'm sorry for whoever was celebrating. (Probably the same person that reported this blog in the first place)

The website code, while it takes long to develop, it can be compressed in a small file by today's standards: Less than 1 MB. That size is something that even my slow connection can upload without strangling the net's use, so I backed this up and uploaded it often. Because if there's a fire in the area and then flooding, I will be able to have that work safe. I know what kind of things can happen. I just don't have the resources to be ready against all of them.

The experience has been frustrating to say the least and it hasn't come alone. Cats, parents, doctor appointments, rehabilitation. Life. It was hard not saying anything in the lines of this is unfair! or all this bad luck can't be possible, it was so tempting because that's our first irrational impulse. Things suddenly get wildly out of control and the Universe sure has been conspiring for this, because we are that important (That last phrase was sarcasm. Just making sure.)

I noticed how this kind of irrational thinking was building in my mind and I had to give myself time to get some perspective back into my thoughts and not let myself surrender to the easy believing.

You're having computer, cats, health, etc. issues, but that means you have computer, cats and a life that lets you take care of it.

Bad luck is just one roll with low probability, but it's still possible. Would you have complained with similar chances, but in the good luck direction? How many more people are having similar situations? Exactly, you don't know, so you can't conclude you're the only one having this happen.

Still thinking you're having bad luck? Watch two more episodes of Grey's Anatomy and then be thankful because you don't work at the Seattle Grace/Grey-Sloan Hospital. That would be being unlucky.

Now I fear giving any kind of notice that lets know if my work is advancing or is close to anywhere. It was close to somewhere when it stopped to be close to somewhere. All I can say is that I have started working again. Finally. (One sure could say that that website is slacking and doesn't want to go live.)

I hope I'll be back on track soon. I really do. Because I've written down on paper a lot of things while these problems were happening, and those things won't type and publish themselves alone :o)

Have a great day :-)

Getting there!

The website is reaching to the live stage: I've involved my business partner in the creation of a vendor system for the store and that aside, I'm close to finishing the engine that will hold everything together. I could talk about all the boring details of what I've done and what is left to do, but I understand that's something only I get excited about and I will spare the pain to all of you. Don't worry though: I will likely bore you with all the details once I'm done.

May is being a quiet month, which has helped a lot in moving forward as I needed. No flooding, no fires. The grass is green and the weeds haven't spread as they used to thanks to the work I did last year. My foot recovers and I can finally walk on two feet (I know, I didn't mention about my foot.) The Hibiscus is blossoming. My cats are healthy. My business partner hasn't killed me yet. Ansel hasn't killed me yet (but I do hear how his eyes roll at me). My days are bright even with the problems *looks at her foot* and there's a lot I'm grateful for.

I have some hope in that I will write more than I used to when the move is done. I've found an organizing method that seems to be clicking with the way I work and is bringing some order into chaos, but I won't preach the gospel until I'm at least one month (or maybe three months) into it because I'm known for not following organizing methods.

Today I'm taking a little (scheduled) break from the website by creating a new poses set for Lazy Sunday, The Widow.

Cheesus, Auryn, you always so *coughs* cheerful.

I know! I need to bring some darkness into all these bright days for balance or I could turn into a unicorn, and I don't want to be a unicorn. I want to be me, with my lights and my shadows.

Have a great day and see you soon, hopefully, at the new place :-)

I have one little secret to confess

I took the decision of participating in this year's edition of NaNoWriMo a few months ago when I was, of course, busy with something else. The part that scared me the most was trying to think of a long story to write (not just very short tales like I do), but I think I've reached to a point where I could go for it.

I have my two main characters already defined: the leading role and the antagonist. The antagonist still needs more detail but I'm getting there. I've scribbled notes about their past and how they cross paths. I'm now writing down a timeline of the future events. Together with them, the rest of characters begin to show up. I stopped worrying about writing about something that others have written before. I don't think it's the originality in the topic what makes a story a good one.

What helped me was reading all those articles about story-writing. A long story doesn't come out of nowhere (unlike my short tales) and I don't think it could be improvised without a plan. Rather, I feel it's a mix of who are the characters involved, what situations do they live, in which environment, and everything else. Since I had no idea about what story to tell, I started writing about the characters. And then, it happened.

Writing about the past of the main character I started writing pages and pages. Small pages, since I'm writing all this in a notepad book-shaped, but more than ten anyway. (I like scribbling notes on physical paper.)

The main character had a lot to tell and I decided it was time to give time to their antagonist, which has also turned out to be chatty and tells me many things about their life, how they think and why they think what they think about all life matters. That has been an interesting experience: You start writing without a clear plan, trying to define a consistent character, and then it jumps to your fountain pen and writes itself, controlling the words your hand writes. (Yes, I like scribbling notes using a fountain pen.)

The story is now growing inside me and the plot is defining itself practically without my assistance after I defined the main characters: they are doing the work for me. All I have to do is sit down, write down on paper what my characters tell me, and review the notes each time I sit for more writing to avoid holes and contradictions in the story.

What's the story about?

I'm afraid I won't say until NaNoWriMo is over. Anyway, as the saying goes, time flies, so it's not going to be such a long wait. I can say though that it's not going to be a fight between Good and Evil. I believe that people are far more complex than that, even those without conscience.

Meanwhile, the very short tales will continue to come, because they simply jump out of my thoughts when I create some pose sets. It's as if the story was waiting for me to start taking photos to flow though my fingers. I still don't understand how that works.

I'll leave it for now, presenting the Shadows short tale, which was inspired by my last poses set (or was it the other way?)

Have a great weekend :-)

Shadows

I'm back for my next story, and I've chosen you to be the lead character.

You will barely notice that I slowly reach into more private areas of your mind, reading your most important secrets. When the closeness scares you, I will speak about concern and you will believe me. Concern is a feeling I've learned to pretend very well, but you will never know the secrets hiding behind my own walls.

Eventually, you will know that something is off in me. When you reach to that realization, you will want to warn others about me and inevitably, we will fight. My survival is at stake.

Your weapons are logic and reason. Those would be lethal in an ideal world. But this is not an ideal world, and I take advantage of that. My weapons are feelings and offense. It doesn't matter how right you are about me. It matters how helpless everybody else will perceive me. Did I tell you I'm a great actress? Now you're a monster in their eyes.

While everybody is busy tearing you apart, I will retreat to the shadows, to quietly see you shatter. These so convenient shadows will hide the glint in my smirk and I will rise stronger, ready for my next story... All while the darkness I use as my cloak smothers you, pushing you into the road to madness, a road I've known nobody to ever come back from. In your nightmares from now on, you will hear me sing a lullaby. Good night... Good night...

OUTFIT CREDITS

Mesh body: Lara, from Maitreya
Mesh hands: Lara's hands, from Maitreya
Mesh feet: Lara's feet, from Maitreya
Mesh head: Karin, from Lelutka

Eyes: Phantom Eyes, Snow, from Dead Apples
Face Applier: Pom-Pom, Porcelain, from KOOQLA
Skin Applier: Porcelain tone, from KOOQLA

Hair: Rooskje (no materials), from Mina
Horns: Uninvited Horns, pitch, from BOOM

Dress: Suhina Sequin gown, onyx, from Zaara
Collar: Dahlia collar, black, from Baiastice
Gloves: Long gloves with claws, black, from Baiastice
Shoes: Zora heels, Noir, from Ingenue (not showing in the photos)

Spider wings: Spider legs backpiece, from Zyn
Birds: Abadon Orbit 1, 2 and 3, from Zibska
Face Thorns: Rose Face Thorns (L and R), Dark, from LaGyo
Arm Thorns: Rose Arm Thorns (L and R), Dark, from LaGyo

Pose: Shadow #1 set coming for Lazy Sunday, Black Tulip (mine)

Background: Cemetery de Morte, from Pandemonium
Windlight Sky: Places Kingsport

Not on hiatus

I know I haven't posted anything new in a couple of months. Things happened, then life happened. Then life happened again (funeral included). Then there was some more of life, then sick for a month (I think. I lost count of the weeks. I'm not out of it yet.) While sick, also, life, life, life.



I haven't given up on writing. I'm just trying to work in the website engine as that life thing lets me, preparing for a big move (the store page and this blog will no longer live at Blogger). Trust me, I miss this space, particularly with so much going on (in life and in my mind).

Yes, I've said work in the website engine. I'm designing the database and programming the content management system that will let me publish new content, with widgets and everything. Why, since I could use something from the available systems? Because I'm wired this way, and if I'm moving to a non free place, I want things done in a certain way. Which means, I have to do it myself. It would seem that I like to get in trouble, since this is a lot of work! But I'm liking to do this work, the kind of work I used to do years ago, before other things happened.

I'll let know when all is ready and the new website is available. See you soon :-)