Sunday, September 20, 2015


We all must find balance in our lives, and nobody else can do that job in our place. No matter how difficult, keep always one foot where it can hold you.

When I wrote these words yesterday in my SL Feed, I didn't realize I was starting to lose balance, yet again. (Don't you ever learn? Well apparently, no.)

I realized this morning, when I was watering the grass. Despite having done an impressive job in the garden during Summer, all by my own (the details don't matter now), I noticed small spots that were taking water eagerly, and they should have taken it yesterday, not today.

I always have that problem. If I'm working in the garden, I end up so tired that I cannot work in anything else for the day. If I work in anything else (because, paying bills and such), then I don't find the right chance to go outside and continue doing maintenance at the garden. In the meantime, the headaches that come when weather changes leave me so beaten that often I cannot work in either. And if you ask why I don't plan my time and set one day and fixed hours to work in the garden, I would love to tell you great idea, I'll do that, but my mind refuses that. No matter how hard I've tried, I'm absolutely unable of following an schedule of that kind.

I cannot find balance, I'm always stumbling from one extreme to the other one.

But I saved the garden. For now.

I would like to take some photos and share them here. Show all of you this is what I meant with recovering it and, why not, feel some pride about what I've done.

There's something preventing me from doing so, at least for now.

There are certain eyes following everything I post in as many places as they have found. Eyes that I thought I had defeated four years ago. While those eyes are free to read everything I post (else why making it public?), they contacted me a few months ago. They should have never done that, they should have left me in peace, but no... Those eyes wanted my attention. Those eyes even told me they were starting to think to move somewhere else. Somewhere like... Spain. While I cannot give credit to the words of eyes that lie so much, I shouldn't also entirely discard the possibility.

Those eyes are sick, those eyes lie to everybody, starting by themselves. Those eyes lie about me, of course, and about the reasons why I don't want them close, but I'm not going to defend myself from whichever lies, and I don't want to know what lies are those. If someone chooses to believe them, that person was never relevant to me in the first place.

I've always said that you must be careful with what you make public about yourself, no matter it's the Internet or people close to you, but particularly, on the Internet. I've always said that there are many predators, abusers, observing and waiting for their next victim to prey on.

Did you think I said all that from my high horse, out of touch with the ground, because it's easy telling others what to do but never having lived the situation?

Now you begin to know the answer.


Mesh body: Lara, from Maitreya
Mesh hands: Lara's hands, from Maitreya
Mesh feet: Lara’s feet, from Maitreya

Skin: Lulu 02 C, Jamaica, from Glam Affair
Freckles: Cassiopea Cosmetics, A (tn), from Glam Affair
Hair: You send me, Reds (Russet), from Exile

Dress: Swept Away Dress, Cream, from (fashionably dead)
Necklace: Swept Away Necklace, White Gold, from (fashionably dead)

Poses: Balance #2 and #4, Black Tulip (mine)
Poles: Decorative Poles, Black Tulip (mine)

Windlight Sky: [TOR] NIGHT - That spells moon 2
Windlight Water: Pond

1 comment:

  1. The finality of your last message was quite specific.
    Ordinarily with respect of oneself its self deprecating to respond, as it would be if a reversal of the situation, not expected.
    For some weeks, I didn't.
    When we last communicated, there was the prevailing issue of Monti's access as it was emergent.
    I apologise for the recent lame attempt contacting you.
    Since accessing, after all these years it's disappointing to learn I'm trying to fathom why the owner, your former employer finds it necessary to maintain the ban Nor will give any explanation why. Nor will answer if it's the person or just the account.The owner seems devoid of any Christian ethic.

    When I returned I contacted you because, in part to make amends, and with understanding knowledge is power.

    You were obligingly helped. Unfortunately, when inebriated and with reckless abandonment with the seemingly futility of Monti situation ruined what chance to regain your confidence.I have to bear the consequences. I have not overcome which, caused the problem all those years ago. demonstrative of some people think they know it all, but they don't know it's that which you learn after you know it all, that really counts hence. It's curiosity.

    Also during the last exchange, I didn't immediately respond to your conclusion about what you thought I was expressing, and secondly didn't clearly explain in a jovial sense, that which, I was relating about the group. You perceived me as a disruptive influence, and acted accordingly. I unexpectedly left and when I returned later was incensed, but as is your prerogative, I do what I like, and why shouldn't you.
    I mentioned Spain because it's been freezing cold in Melbourne Australia.

    Stalking is a criminal offence.Metadata can identify anybody.Linden Lab have indirect access to PayPal info .And in my to get conversations to Monti back staff at Linden Lab know exactly who I am.

    Simply curious,if have you had recent contact with your previous employer from those years ago. If they implement alternate avatar detection practices. and whether the owners have influence with Linden Lab. and importantly how the owners ever demonstrated neurotic irresponsibility.
    You'll be glad to know I've given up second life and it's been a dismal failure.
    Regards Monti