Tulips... and more

You know the song, it all starts with a box...



or perhaps... with tori.



I love tulips, but they're not the only one you can find at the Glowing Fantasy Garden series...





Love these beauties... Creating, and painting them.

Angel

I've been said that here, I look like an angel.



For once, I'm taking those words and just believing them. It's tiring, so tiring, to keep all the time your guard high. I never know when to believe. Let's see.

I like...

... observing people and their inner contradictions.
... making questions whose answers contradict their behaviours.
... observing how they don't realize what you've just done... and the arrogance that emerges from the superiority they feel they can brag about.

Then I silently switch off the light, close the door, and walk away.

(This deserves a deep writing, but I don't have time now for explaining. A pity; I'd like to).

Don't say...

"I promise you..."
"I'll never make you..."

... because as soon as those words are spoken, the promise is broken.

The porcelain ballerina comes back to her dark spot, where she never should have dared going out from...

Yay!

Ok, no biggie. Except, that my slides projector now plays animated textures, particles effects, sounds, changes aspect ratio and even allows you selecting from a few transitions from slide to slide.

Woot!

\o/

(Now, it's time for working on the preloading pictures part, plus lists for loading and a nice, nice HUD...)

Abusers

You'll find them always behind a charming facade. They need to pretend they are something they're not, in order to trap you on their web.

They say you the sweetest things. They act like if they care about you. But there's always something strange, something unreal on their behaviour. Something that makes you distrust, be wary.

Then one day, the truth is discovered, and their real self arises. And their real self turns to be a monster: the nightmare begins.

It doesn't matter all your effort on listening and being listened. It doesn't matter anything you do, the chances you give. They all will be smashed, mocked on, laughed at.

You'll be insulted. Your judgement will be insulted. Your friends will be insulted. They'll try by all means making you feel insecure, dirty, worthless: They need you feeling insecure, dirty and worthless, they need that you depend on them so they can throw, furious, all their misery on you.

There are abusers in both lives. In both lives, they'll tell you that they're not a monster, they'll try always blaming you for their behaviour. They always try making you feel miserable, by promising a change that will never happen, and then saying that it's your fault if they've not changed, because you've not cared about them. In Secondlife, they will even be cheeky enough as for telling you that in their real lives, they're not like this.

They are.

Abusers can't hide they are abusers once the mask has fallen on the floor and revealed the monster that was behind.

So be strong. Don't listen at them. Push them as far as you can from your life, it's the only way you can "win". Never play on the playground for an abuser. It will be only your loss. Your time and your energies will be the only wasted ones.

Abusers never change.

As soon as you identify one... run away.

Unfortunately, I'm talking by experience here. And as expected, the abuser still has the nerve of blaming everybody because of his lies being discovered and his true colors being exposed again, with an increasing and never ending rage that shows, once more, that his sweet promises of change were the same lie that he is.

Abusers never change.

Repeat that all the times you need when you find one. And run away. Don't feel guilty: they won't feel bad about making you miserable, so you don't have to feel guilty for escaping from them. They never change. Never.

Halloween Costume

I've never celebrated parties, but this year, being here, joining a related event, has made me change my mind, look in my wardrobe for an old dark nun costume, and I've done the rest.

Yes, that's me resting on a broom with a builtin AO for keeping the static pose on all the time. Yes, I've done the pose. Yes, I've done the broom. Yes, I've done the AO. And, although the maps for the cute ghosts are acquired ones, I've arranged the circular set, made them rotate slowly around my head... Soon I'll create my own cape and jewelry.





The good of learning is that you grow, and depend less and less from others.

Burning Man 2010

So I entered in the desert, and found an incredible spectacle full of light and color, much more enjoyable at night.

At times, I had the feeling of being transported to my own town, when we have our own party here, also full of light and color. The streets get filled with lots of sculptures for being burnt the night of 19th, March, every year since I can remember, and more.




Light, sculptures and fires. Majestic shapes coloring a night that never ends, a night melting with the day created by the shininess of the glow emerging from the life that every piece conjured in this desertic place. Life from the desert, color from the nothing, highness staring at you, haughty, proud of their own intrinsic mysteries, just slightly revealed, to be guessed, by looking at them from the ground.







And who was telling me, when I arrived to the colorful fractal zone...



... that I'll find... these flowers?



I think that what I felt must be similar as what's experienced when you have a kid and see him grow, take what may learn from you... and transform it into his own identity.

I don't remember who said this, but how true is...

If you have an apple, and I have an apple, and we both exchange them, we still have each one, one apple. But if you have an idea, and I have an idea, and we both exchange them, now we both have two ideas.

And even more.

Neverending creativity. Neverending sharing. Neverending smiles on the process, talking directly to the other's minds, your heart pounding with the other's hearts, the only that we can see and feel from the others when the physical appearance vanishes under the standarization of beauty.

All these, is what I love from my Second Life.

Blue

The day you cried cold crystal was the day you remembered when his blue gaze pierced your chest, reaching your heart.

The cold disdain in his eyes withered it forever; his cruel smile threw it into the well where hope is lost, and sadness breaks your soul. There your heart was smashed, broken, a thousand multicolored shards that quickly grayed; leaving only the stench of loneliness.

Within his ivory tower, atop an ivory throne, he laughs as he plays - turning hearts to crystal, he always loved the sound of crystal as it breaks. In the end, your feelings, emotions, hopes and dreams... how different are they from crystal? So easily shattered on a whim.



This post is also published in The Night Corner

What have I done...

First, tentacles.

Now, this.









It's dangerous letting me use a computer.

Be careful...

This may seem a class running on creating custom characters...





They seem quiet, paying attention to something in the screen...





As time passes, more and more tentacles are seen at the Builder's Brewery...



They're obviously planning something. If I were you, I'd be scared.

Halloween Gift

There's an event organized at the Builder's Brewery, the Halloween giftaway. The owners have prepared a graveyard where everybody is putting their presents, for others acquiring them. I've joined the event with mine: a dark house, plus a collection of pumpkins and a set of (pulsating) ghosts.



Don't miss the chance! The giftaway finishes on october, 31th. See you there :-)

Happy Thirteen...

... For you... For me...

Glowing Fantasy Garden

I've done it again.

I didn't have enough preparing a (totally) beginners scripting course... I didn't have enough with the (advanced) series "One script... To rule them all"... Next week begins my new series, "Glowing Fantasy Garden", four chapters where we'll rediscover the "ancient art" of creating (gorgeous) prim flowers.

I remember perfectly that, when I joined SL, I wanted to build a tulip. I've finally done it. Plus some more flowers.

Welcome to my garden, which may also be yours :-)

Magical Flowers

It's primmy as hell, but I've enjoyed creating each single prim for this set, inspired by prim flowers that I've seen around.

Twenty five softly glowing primitives only visible (right now) at my crystal home.

The two small tulips go apart: they're sculpted tulips from the (gorgeous) creations from Arctic Greenhouse. The rest, is mine.

Learning things, the hard way

Careful if you archive notecards in the calling cards folder...

You may try moving one, and instead of doing so, send the notecard to someone whose calling card your mouse was pointing to, when you release the button.

Moral: Never archive things when you've not had your first coffee in the day.
Moral 2: Specially, if those things are... private.
Moral 3: Specially... in the calling cards folder.

(sighs)

(Finally) Opening the store

It took me half the day (including the time for some -long- interruptions), but I managed to completely rebuild the store. Maybe this happens only to me, but having a temporary build (which I didn't like too much) for the store was actually preventing me from creating more items. I felt the lack of a proper place as blocking. So yesterday in the afternoon I began taking measures, requesting megaprims, creating some sculpted parts, texturing, setting the doors and finally, I finished all the work.

I know. Now it's the turn of filling it with items. But at least, they have a decent place for being shown. Welcome to my store:

Black Tulip



Second floor is for friends. The third one will be used by animations and, possibly, scripts and building tools on my own. The photostudio will, hopefully, open soon.

At least, work soothes the pain from last weeks.

PS: Yes, I've changed the name. Shortened. I value criticism when it's constructive. Thanks.

Freedom: That poorly understood word

Although it's not the best book I've read, I can't deny that "The Neverending Story" is, by far, my favourite. I first read it when I was a teenager. I was captivated by such a wonderful story, plenty of meanings.

I've always seen it as a story about the true meaning of freedom. A story which shows us that we always have a reaction for each action, facing one to each other, either helping themselves to grow something, or for destroying one to each other.

When we look at ourselves in the mirror of our actions, we'll find that the reactions are looking us too, from inside. Depending on our choices, a beautiful or an ugly reflection for ourselves will stare at us.

Specially in this surreal world of SL, where we (supposedly) play our fantasies, I've listened the phrase "I'm a free spirit" as an excuse for some people for not accepting the consequences derived from their actions.

I don't accept that. You're completely free only when you understand about the consequences of your actions, and then, being informed and aware of the responsibility you must face after you act, choose an option. Any other than that is not being free, but a slave: slave of a whim, which is one of the most irrational and dangerous passions that might drive our behaviour.

If, by claiming that you're a free spirit, you really mean that you're not accepting the consequences of your actions, nor make yourself responsible of the pain you inflict, then you're not a free spirit: you're a whimsical selfish person.

Freedom always comes by knowledge and empathy. Never, ever, by ignorance and selfishness.

You can't be free if you don't know what you're doing. Where there's ignorance, there's always a great playground for being manipulated. Manipulators know pretty well how to take advantage of the ignorance and feed the ego expected from a selfish person, so they never realize that they're manipulated.

You'll know that you're free because, maybe your actions are restricted because of the consequences, but your conscience will be always clear, free, for living in peace with yourself, the only person you know for sure will be forever in your whole life: you.


That's why I chose my name, Auryn, for living in this surreal world. The AURYN had an inscription, "do what you wish". But the power of succumbing to your whims will mislead you, and make you finish in the lost emperors city, completely insane, with no memories as for being able of coming back to the real world.

Only those who understand the real meaning under the responsibility hidden behind the words "do what you wish", will be able to find the AURYN and bring back to their reality the water of life, usually found in happiness tears from those we've not harmed with our whims, but proven love with our facts.




(For more on the book, this article of Wikipedia pretty much nails the core: The Neverending Story. And now, excuse me all. I feel I want to read it again.)

Forever Friends

Yes. I did it. I bought the dino.

And now we're living a friendship as ever known before.

Instructor!

I've been busy. In fact, too busy. Some weeks ago I received a notice from the Builder's Brewery group with an attached notecard: they were looking for new instructors. When I read the notecard, became somehow nervous. I could offer myself as instructor. In the end, I've been a teacher in RL since I'm fifteen... why not?

So I wrote an offering. I talked about my RL-experience, and also detailed six possible topics I could teach about. I also offered the choice for being, say, tested, since they didn't know me at all, what if I was lying about my experience? But they accepted and, in fact, I began sooner than expected.

Then, all the "OMG!" stress. I offered six topics, for being taught along three weeks (two per week, twice each class). I had nothing ready, but the ideas in my mind. I needed preparing the notes. I needed preparing the materials. First class was tuesday. It was saturday. Omg, omg...

There, the stress. Classes are tuesday, thursday and sunday. Notes and supplies needed to be ready by tuesday and thursday in my morning (sunday's class is a repeat). And I have the bad habit of wanting everything being perfect and completely under control. I don't like leaving things at random, specially, when I have some responsibility for them.

So the first three weeks I gave classes were full of stress. I was just finishing a class, and I already was in a rush: for preparing next one.

But, honestly, it's been also rewarding.

First, because now I have the feeling of being useful for the community. I know, it's no big deal. I'm not saving the world, but I'm trying to help others learn. That's what I've always done, that's what I've always wanted to do, that's what I feel I can be helpful with.

Second, because I'm usually shy and reserved, and this makes me recover contact with people. I'm not an hermit, but sometimes I look like one, because of my behaviour.

Third, because of people's acceptance. They like my classes. They find them useful, well documented and structured, with "small tips" for making life easier, and once they attend one, they usually attend my whole series. That's quite flattering, and also reminds me of my responsibility for doing a good job.

Some of them have pointed useful suggestions, and I'm polishing my classes taking them into account. I don't like making myself comfortable: if there are things that could be changed for better, then they must be changed.

In a way, I feel like if I found a home.

Come and visit the Builder's Brewery anytime. If you want to find me, I'll be there, SLT, tuesday 1AM, thursday 1AM and 1PM, sunday 1 PM. Check the schedule anyway: there are lots of interesting classes.

Oh, blue poseball

I know. I always start working into something serious, and end taking pictures like this one.



I'm an incorrigible dreamy.

It's photo tutorial time! ^_^

Spring has arrived where I live, the sun shines, flowers blossom and love is in the air. Anyway, I'm not going to talk about love, but about a few tricks for taking pictures in Secondlife. How's that?, you may wonder. Well, I was this afternoon in a colorful place called "Cheese", and the dino fellow captivated my sight:



I loved the dino so much, that I wanted it all for me, for copying and paste again and again in so many different backgrounds, anytime I needed. But you know that, almost all times, you can't just ask the dino "will you come to my studio and let me photography you with a good chroma wall?". Well, you can, but since the dino is owned by someone else, you just can't bring it to your studio. Don't wait for his answer.

Selecting a shape can be a headache: when the background has similar colours (as this case), is blurry, or who knows what else. I know. But I also know that Secondlife has tools enough as for simplifying that task. Yes: if you know which tools do you have, and how to use them, your job will be easier. Don't believe me? Ok, let's explain how.

Know where your options are

Advanced menu: here's where all the magic resides. Don't you have it visible? Then press CTRL+ALT+D and, voilà, there's your advanced menu.

Advanced: Rendering: Types. That's your first menu for playing with. Is there an avatar that bothers you for your picture? Click on "Character", and all avatars go from your screen (obviously, if you want to get a picture from an avatar, that option must be checked, but not the case with our dino). Does the sky bother you? Get rid of it: uncheck. The water? The same. Particles? Ignore them. Clouds? Uncheck them. Your scene will become more clear. But there's still something interfering a clean dino, and the world: the other objects. So let's hide them.

How?

A bit of patience, going through edit mode (CTRL+3) and... Advanced: Rendering: Hide selected.

Now, click on an object. You'll see the selection lines, but the object... has disappeared from your view. Hold SHIFT key pressed. Click another object. Now, you have both objects selected, and both have vanished from your screen, right? Repeat the process, and get rid of all objects that may bother your view (for the dino, in my case).

When you have everything hidden, focus your camera, frame the scene and... click! There it goes:



Yes, the picture above is pure SL snapshot. Pretty easy cropping the dino now, right?



So what, now?

Playing with our dino, of course. Pasting it anywhere we see fit.


OMG, I feel dizzy


OMG, those dudes are as weird as me


OMG, I'm lost again


OMG, Purple Tentacle is here


OMG, I have no idea at all on sewing

Have fun ^_^