Wednesday, May 13, 2015

"Lost in the woods" - World Goth Fair is almost here

It seems that the more posts I publish, the more things I want to write about. Sadly I don't have time to write that much. But I'll try to keep up with my thoughts.

One day, when I was eight year old, my mother thought that I would look cute if I would wear a long dress, and I went to school in it (I was born in a moment of history when kids walked on their own feet to go school.)

I barely remember that dress. I know it was sleeveless, and its color was sienna. In my eight year old mind, I felt like if I were walking on grass fields in my way to school, I felt beautiful and I was probably smiling like an idiot. When I arrived to school, everybody made fun of me and my dress. When it was playground time that morning, I ran back home, crying, threw the dress to the floor and wore my usual ugly sports clothes. Then I went back to school, and avoided everybody during the rest of the day.

You may think they were jealous or anything... That's not the point I'm going after.

There's something in humans that make us to be cruel toward other humans, for example, when others don't look similar to the way we do. Maybe it's an instinct that helps us distinguish friends from enemies, at a very basic level. I don't know. I know that when someone doesn't look according to the current trends, that someone is looked down, mocked on, made feel that they do not belong. To our small circle, to society.

I don't know if this is a learned behaviour or not. I know that in any case, it's something we can control. As we grow, we can realize that cruelty toward others isn't really something good, and particularly, cruelty because someone looks different. People come in all sizes, colors and dressing choices. Who are we to decide which is the right size, color and dressing choice?

The title of this post says, World Goth Fair is almost here. Yet another event. Well, yes. It's another event. If you visit their webpage, and click on About WGF, you can read this:

World Goth Fair is an annual Second Life event, officially sanctioned by the folks at World Goth Day.

In the World Goth Day website we can read:

World Goth Day is exactly what it says on the wrapper-a day where the goth scene gets to celebrate its own being, and an opportunity to make its presence known to the rest of the world. This day falls on 22nd May of every year.

Before I applied for it the last year, I followed the World Goth Day link, googled a bit, and found out about the Sophie Lancaster Foundation (Last year, the SL event raised money for it, but because of organizational issues that we can read in the SL event website, this year it won't benefit the charity. The reasons are not the point of this post anyway.)

As we can read here, Sophie and her boyfriend were beaten because they looked different. She died. You're probably pulling your hair now, thinking gosh, violence! and things like that. Wait a bit, because I may still have something for you.

Because of the way I opened my post, you can figure that even though I don't look Goth/Gothic 100% of my SL time, I wanted to participate, and so I wanted this time. This year, I decided that I would create a series of poses to celebrate... That you are different? That you're unique?


I decided that I would create a series of poses to celebrate that you are you. In the look that would be expectable for the event, but with that message. And that's how Lost in the woods saw the light.

Now, I promised that if you pulled your hair, thinking violence, etc., after learning about what happened to Sophie... I may have something for you. Something I've been thinking about recently (since a year or so.)

One of my pet peeves, no matter RL or SL, is when I see someone publishing a photo of a stranger, to point and laugh and have others piling and also pointing and laughing because of... looks.

See, I don't care how funny you find that a man decides to wear orange stockings in public, tight pants or a skirt; that an old woman isn't wearing a bra, a young woman doesn't wax their armpits, or in SL, that someone decides to sport big gravity defying ass and breasts. In private, you can laugh all you want.

But if you publish those pictures, and start making comments like my eyes!, not safe for life, why would they want to look like that, they should keep that hidden and similar ones (which by the way, I see too often), to me... You're (almost) as cruel as the people who killed Sophie. Violence is not only physical. It can also be inflicted psychologically. If you feel you have a right to show a photo of a stranger and have others laugh and go EW! about that stranger because of looks, you're not that different from those who killed Sophie, nor that different from those that body shame. The seed of cruelty is also in you. Fortunately, you can still think about it.

And let's be honest here: Do you think that your beauty and clothing standards define the beauty and clothing standards of the whole world? Get over yourself. People come in many sizes, colors and dressing choices. Not your choices.

Told you. I may have something for you.


Mesh body: Lara, from Maitreya
Mesh hands: Lara's hands, from Maitreya
Mesh feet: Slink High feet, from Slink
Mesh head: Lilith 2.0, from Genesis Lab
Ears: Lilith head ears, from Genesis Lab
Eyes: Lilith eyes, from Genesis Lab
Skin: Milk tone applier of the Lilith head

Hair: Justine, from Pale Empress

Dress: Charlotte gown, from Pale Empress
Necklace: Severina, Medallion Collar, Red, from Pale Empress
Shoes: Persephone ribbon slippers, from Pale Empress
Bird: Tweet companion, included with Newreem hair, from Ohmai Salon

Poses: Lost in the woods, Black Tulip (mine), coming for World Goth Fair.

Windlight: [TOR] DUSK - Siennarel
Landscaping: Studio Skye, several kits; Turnip skydome


  1. Wonderful, well thought post.
    Although I am not a saint myself when it comes to this topic (then again, who is?), I also like to laugh at and about myself at times too.
    But I get your point, and you are right :)

    1. Nobody is a saint. I know I've laughed about some things, too, and like I said, it's only about a year or so that I realized and gave it deeper thought. To me, the difference is when you smile, smirk, laugh... and that's it, and when you walk the extra mile, stepping on the shaming territory, be it point and laugh, be it being outright cruel, with that superiority entitlement sense that I'm sure you've also seen around.

      It's a tough one to decide, because it also steps over what we understand as humor, and I vowed myself to never draw a line that defines what you can laugh about. I'm still thinking how I resolve this conflict within myself. But meanwhile, what I know is that publicly, I'm not going to point and laugh because someone looks different, whether these are ways that we may consider shocking or not.

      Maybe the intention when pointing and laughing is what makes the difference, what could constitute the cruelty? Right now, I don't know.