Scripting Saturday Night - Gone wild

Sorry! Maybe that script went a little out of hand, Sir. Yes, Sir, I know, it crashed the sim, but we could restore it! Please don't revoke my scripter license? Please?

Not all the times I have to be serious :-)

Thanks Caitlin! You're right, this is the perfect one for me.

To be unique, original and special (Or not to be)

This post came as a consequence of wanting to participate in another of Berry's Monday challenges. Of course, I had to derail myself, but I promise that if you keep reading... I eventually get there!

I'm not sure if being original/unique has ever been a concern to me, or something I did brag about. (Asking to people that know me for long, they say they don't remember this.) I know I wanted to be special to some people when I was a little girl (my parents; who doesn't want to be special to their own parents?), but after my failure, even being special was something I was no longer interested into.

If you think about it just for a moment, the genetic variability alone implies that each one of us is, by definition, unique. Then why do we worry so much? You may tell me that's not true, we don't worry or, at least, you don't worry. Well, it's possible. But my observations make me think differently about it.

For example, as soon as someone says anything about what normal people do, many others around will start saying things like but who wants to be normal?, normal is overrated, normal is boring, I embrace my crazy, normal is for losers, what is normal, anyway?... You get the idea. I would be surprised if you've never heard/read anything like this.

It's my impression that some (many?) people fear to be labeled, as if that would make them lose their uniqueness. The problem I see is that by rushing yourself into screaming loud you're unique, you're original, normal is overrated, and so on... You're labeling yourself as someone who belongs to the set of people that say they're unique, original and normal is overrated. Which is quite of a huge set with so many people in it, and if you know that normal refers to average... Yes, the irony is that by screaming how unique, original, etc. you are, you're actually being quite normal.

Personally, I want to be what we understand as a normal person with a normal life. Family, dog(s), cats, weekends... all that. I don't fear normality. I'm not interested in being special nor in proving how original and unique I am. I don't fear not being recognized in a crowd. That can be an advantage more often than not.

I have no problem at all if you (generic you), on the other hand, want to be unique, special, original... However you call it. I would ask only for one tiny detail. If you claim to be original, unique... then, for kitties' sake, do not fall into contradictions and stereotypes. Do not be that predictable.

Yes, it's really facepalming reading one, several, or all of the following statements, when someone claims to be original, unique:

• Quotes from famous people. Particularly when the attribution is incorrect. (I'm sure that Albert Einstein would be surprised of all the things that people say, he said.) But this always makes me raise an eyebrow because if you're so original and unique, why don't you create your own quotes? Why do you have to use (or copy/paste, when on Internet) what others say?
• Speaking of quotes: Spreading motivational quotes is quite non-original, if you're concerned about being original. Also, have you ever thought about the implications of those, apparently, motivating quotes? I promise that some day, I have to dissect some of my favorite ones.
• I'm not your typical woman/man (My typical woman/man say that they're not typical.)
• Laugh about normality and say that crazy is all the rage and how you roll. Until someone suggests that you could be crazy. For real. Then you quickly claim you're normal, not sick. (Since we're talking averages, would you like to know how normal is to be sick?)
• No copy/no modify/no transfer (Like all the other people that also write that)
• I'm not your typical bitch (Extra points at the use of the word bitch; rant material for another moment)

It's a short list because I didn't want to spend a long time compiling all the things I've seen, but you get the idea. I admit that I may fall into one or several of the categories above, but I don't claim that I'm unique/original/special, nor that I'm over being normal, so I can indulge in the pleasures of normality and falling into stereotypes without contradicting myself :-)

I couldn't help thinking of all this as Lelutka's mesh heads were announced, and released. Many people said "yes, they're pretty, but what about my uniqueness? I don't want to look like a clone."

I have some thoughts about this. ("Is there anything you have no thoughts about?" Good point.)

I like my SL-face. I've mixed aspects of my RL face with aspects of one fantasy character from my childhood until I got my current face, which now stands for almost two years. I would love if there was a mesh head exactly like that: The time I would save smoothing edges when I take a close-up! (Or just so I don't feel bad for not smoothing them when I have no time.)

But I don't put my uniqueness, my identity, into my SL-face. In fact, I'm not afraid of looking like a clone. I like these mesh heads, and I use them. Not daily, but I use them. The ones I use nowadays are Lelutka's heads and the new Lilith from Genesis Lab, which shows in the ads for my new releases at World Goth Fair. Because I'm not attached to my SL-face when using a mesh head, I can play more with different skin tones, tones that at times do not sit well in my SL-face.

When I think about it, I really don't understand why that fear about looking like clones with mesh heads. Back in 2009, some Redgrave skins were all the rage, and all girls using those skins looked all the same. It was like that too, with some LAQ skins that were pretty common in 2009, 2010 and even 2011. And what about Curio skins? They were beautiful, but I was unable to distinguish the girls using them. Things are even worse with male skins. Those BadAzz ones? Yep, don't ask me to tell you what makes guys using them different one from the other.

My point with this is that many of our faces have been looking quite like others all the time. Why does the concern show now, with mesh heads?

Some mesh heads allow for appliers, and they can look quite different depending on the skin applier used. Makeup adds another layer of variety, and then there's your own style. The head is not the whole you. It should not be.

And now finally... On to Berry's Challenge (Told you I would eventually get here.)

Meme Instructions: Share your avatar's digits and/or answer the following questions about mesh bodies.

• Do you currently own a mesh body? If so, do you wear it all the time or just once in a while? If not, skip to the fourth question.
  
  Currently, I own several mesh bodies, but the only one I use since it came out is Maitreya. I use it for photos and when I'm at home alone/with Ansel. I try not to use it when I go to places, because it causes extra stress on the graphics cards of everybody around me. If the place is lonely and I want to take pictures, then I wear it.
  
  
• What is your preferred mesh body available on the market right now?
  
  No doubts here: Maitreya Lara
  
  
• Have you changed your shape since you started wearing the body?
  
  No. In fact, that's been what made me decide for Maitreya.
  
  I wanted the mesh body fitting to my sliders, so whether I'm wearing the mesh body or not, my shape is basically the same (particularly, the hip curve; the rest, I don't mind that much if it's a little different). Wowmeh was quite close to this, but it wasn't optimal and it was retired from the market anyway. Maitreya was the next one achieving this, fitting to my shape, and so I'm sticking to it.
  
  
• How do you feel about mesh bodies in general?
  
  I like them: They save time editing pictures and, of course, look better than the default SL avatar. I wish I could wear mine all the time, but I'm aware of the stress they cause on slow connections and machines, so I try not punishing others just because I want to look pretty no matter the cost, 24x7.
  
  
• What is one thing you would request from designers when it comes to mesh bodies?
  
  Stick to the UVs of the SL avatar so creators can use their textures without having to work special versions that will fit only one body. That's a mistake Belleza did with Venus, with their hands and feet having different UVs than the SL avatar has. The Omega system cannot convert textures, and creators are already too busy making appliers, as to having to also take on the work of creating a different set of textures for one particular body.
  
  We know that the UVs of the SL avatar are far from perfect, but mesh bodies could be designed to have different textures applied on left and right arms/feet, using the UVs of the SL avatar. There's no need to use your own and forcing creators to make work specifically for them. Knowing how quickly things happen in the fashion scene, there's no way that creators will seriously consider on all this extra work, for an item that won't be used anymore even before they've had time to complete that extra version.
  
  

OUTFIT CREDITS

Mesh body: Lara, from Maitreya
Mesh head: Stella, from Lelutka

Skin: Stella Applier, Jamaica, from Glam Affair
Lipstick: Included in Stella Applier
Hair: booN AAN330, red, from booN hair (boo Nakamura)

Dress: Gloriosa, white gold, from -just a girl- (Clarrellae Resident)
Tiara: Eldar Tiara Gold, from Le Forme (Louise Marsault)

Necklace: Aeranae's Embrace Necklace, from Empyrean Forge (EmpyreanForge Resident)
Head adornment: Aeranae's Embrace Adornment, from Empyrean Forge (EmpyreanForge Resident)
(Thanks, Kinn, for telling me about those!)

Pose: Dark Fairy #13, Black Tulip (mine)

Windlight: Phototools- No Light

Escaping the dreaded Region Restarts

It's again that day of the week. Tuesday. You receive the first sim will restart in xxx minutes message, and teleport somewhere else, waiting. But then, the destination place also welcomes you with sim will restart in xxx minutes, so you teleport to yet another place. Chances are high, you'll be also welcomed with the sim will restart in xxx minutes. Teleport to another place, and chances continue to be high that you'll be welcomed with the dreaded warning. At this point, you feel like crossing those bridges from the movies: one more second, and the stone right under your feet will fall.

We could of course just log off from SL, prepare a cup of coffee (or tea), and try to log back after ten minutes. But at times, this is not possible. We could be talking to a customer, talking to a friend, or we just plain and simply do not want to log off. Having to jump from sim to sim doesn't help if you were having a conversation.

The good news here is: not all places in SL will welcome us with the "sim will restart in xxx minutes" message, when Tuesday restarts are going on. Actually, regions from the main channel are restarted on Tuesday. All the other regions are restarted... Wednesday (not on the same week). So in order to escape from all the restarts Tuesday, the only we have to do is teleporting to a sim that is not in the main channel :-)

"Well, yes, you say that as if it's easy to find said sims!"

I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm providing with an SL URL to one of them, located in mainland :-) (which means, it is not subject to the owner of the sim deciding to stop paying for it.)

Click here to escape from Tuesday's restarts (This teleports you to Miramare Bay, down the sea.)

How do I know that this place is not a main channel sim? I find that information in the viewer. If you click the Help menu, then About [viewer name here], a window shows up, with relevant information about your viewer, computer, and the place you're in:

Take a second look at the information at the top:

You are at 128.0, 128.0, 1.0 in Miramare Bay located at sim8953.agni.lindenlab.com (216.82.41.129:13007)
SLURL: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Miramare%20Bay/128/128/1
(global coordinates 254848.0, 256896.0, 1.0)
Second Life RC BlueSteel 14.11.07.296624

This last line: Second Life RC BlueSteel 14.11.07.296624

This is what tells us, that we are not in a main channel sim. So you can teleport to this place, grab a landmark, save it as Miramare Bay (128, 128, 1) - Run here on REGION RESTART (True name of this LM in my inventory), and keep it always handy for restarts on Tuesday :-)

"But there are restarts on Wednesday. You said it!"

In this case, all we have to do is teleporting to a sim in the main channel. For example, Cape Haven, which again is mainland, and it is a sim from the main channel.

Click here to escape from Wednesday's restarts (This teleports you to Cape Haven, again, down the sea.)

We know this, once again, checking on the Help: About [viewer name here] menu:

Again, read the line: Second Life Server 14.10.24.295913
That tells us, the sim belongs to the main channel.

Little Update: As an alternative, you can also look on the map for sandboxes that belong to each channel. For example, this one: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/BlueSteel%20Sandbox%202/128/128/2, which is a sandbox of the Blue Steel channel. Or this one: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Magnum%20Sandbox%202/45/133/23, a sandbox of the Magnum channel. Or, this one: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/LeTigre%20Sandbox%203/145/235/23, a sandbox of the Le Tigre channel. You will need to join this group, Second Life Beta in order to access those sandboxes (copy and paste the URL of the previous link in local chat, then click on it to open the group window.)

(Thanks to Devin Vaughn for this tip about the sandboxes!)

"Ok, so now I know where to escape on restarts. But how do I know when I can go back home?"

In order to know when your sim will be again online, all you have to do is dropping a very simple script on a prim of your choice. You can drop this script inside anything modify you have, or you can rez a box, give it a relevant name such as "Sim Status Prim" (or something else as long as it makes sense to you), then drop in the Content tab a specific script.

"Omg noes, I fear scripts, they always steal my cookies... what do I do?"

Follow these steps:

• Create a new script in your inventory.
• Give it a relevant name, such as Sim is back!
• Open it to edit, and delete everything that's written inside, so you get an empty edit screen.
• Select with your mouse the following text (colored green, to better distinguish it), copy it with CTRL C, then put your cursor over the script window and paste with CTRL V.

default
{
    changed(integer change)
    {
        if(change & CHANGED_REGION_START)
        {
            llInstantMessage(llGetOwner(), "Sim is back!");
        }
    }
}

And finally save this, so the script compiles. You can of course change the "Sim is back!" text to something else of your preference. The script will IM this text to you, when the sim where the prim is, is back online (so, the prim has to be in your place, all the time.) Remember that IMs coming from objects will show up in your nearby/local chat window.

"Nopes. All this script thing is really confusing to me."

Fair enough :-) Click here to teleport to my store, where I've dropped a copy of this script that you can purchase for free. The box is placed next to the Blender books.

And this is all! Restarts should never be again a source of stressful sim hopping for you.

Have a great day :-)

Little update: Antony Fairport has published in his blog a more complex notifier script, in case you are interested in having more details. Click here to check Antony's script. Click here for the script only, in a safe-for-work website. He also wrote a region status checker that could come in handy. And here, the corresponding script in a safe-for-work website.

Nature

Yesterday was one of those days. Finishing a script, I started feeling the so well known sensation of having a hand squeezing my brain to then make it swell until pushing hard, really hard, inside my skull, outwards, as if trying to break the bone. It was 9 PM for me anyway, so I decided to do something I don't do that often, but really should: check out interesting sims to explore. And so I found this place.

In that world we call real, I love forests, rivers and mountains. I long for one of those times when I can wear my most comfortable clothes, sneakers, and walk at places where at times the Sun doesn't reach you, because the tree leaves are just so dense at that point.

I tried to post a few pictures, but the feed wasn't collaborating. Yes, it's a beautiful place to be with him, lost in his arms while the flowers tickle you and the breeze caresses your cheeks (Yes, I also realize none of that is real, but let's just continue as if it were, for a bit.)

There was more than I wanted to show, than the feed allowed for. For example, this stone lion, which looks like a proud guardian of the Quiet River (no idea if that's the actual name of the river):

I can't help giving names to... everything. Had I been Bastian in the Neverending Story, I sure could have helped too, when the Child Empress needed a new name. Some names I give may be, though, more irreverent than others... But... Back to The Guardian of the Quiet River... :-)

I wanted a closer shot with it, staring at the waters, and I couldn't help remembering, "when you gaze long into an abyss":

My favorite shot from yesterday is this one:

Quiet River, in Flickr

It brings back so many memories... Memories of my favorite forest in Earth, a place I hope I'll see again, some time. In the meantime, I enjoy what virtual nature can do for my mind.

Have a great day :-)

Insanity (Art exhibit)

Insanity is an inspiring art exhibit. It presents a suggestive scenario, open to interpretation and to creating your own stories. I'm so saturated of the mainstream "cutesy", that the visit has been healing, in some levels. Don't get me wrong: I like cute, even on the silly side. But there's just so much I can take of it. So I went to visit this place, I made up a dark and depressing tale, and I ended up happy as a kid in a candy store with budget enough as to develop cavities.

Now, of course, it's time of putting all the pictures together, reviewing the text in case I want to add/correct something, and be happy again. Happiness is sure a good thing. You all should try it, if you haven't already :-)

Insanity

"So you want to learn how it is the descent to darkness? You've come to ask to the most appropriate one. But I have to warn you of something: Should you decide to follow that path, beware that the deeper you are in the darkness, the lonelier you'll find out you've ever been."

"It may start as a slight disappointment. You suddenly realize that you cannot trust as you wanted, and slowly it turns into a way to resentment."

"Resentment twists the way you perceive the world. Your emotions are intensified. A small gesture, regardless of intention, is deformed into a threatening situation that will attack you, will attack you... And why nobody else can see it?"

"Laments about the world being against you, sure are strange creatures. They are attracted to other laments, but even though they share the same space and tend to be quite of a crowd, none of them is actually listening but to the constant whining of their own minds, minds that, at this stage, have crossed the first door that puts them further from a rational view of the world."

"It will happen. You will eventually bite and push away the few ones that still try to help you at that point. Sooner or later you will scream why nobody gives a damn for your feelings. The slam in the door as they leave you behind is the sound that your mind will do when it finally abandons all sanity."

"Look at yourself. Now. Tied to your altered emotions, the only that's left after all you've destroyed. Was it worth the loss? Still, you have a last chance. Will you cover your eyes too with your current ties, or will you use the keys that were always within you? It is your last chance to decide, and there's not much time left. If you don't use the keys, your mind alone will close your eyes to reality, forever. There's no way back."

"How do I know all this, you ask? It's a good question. But, see, I am just a storyteller. How else could I know?"

Cover book challenge: The neverending scripting

Normally I don't participate in these, but this time I had a couple of minutes free (plus, the idea came straight to my mind), so what the heck, this is my cover book for Strawberry Singh's meme, Second Life Book cover meme. It doesn't take knowing too much of me, to figure out why everything in this cover :-)

Credits

Original book: The neverending story
Fonts used: Bistream Vera Serif Bold (Title), Delphine (Author)

Skin: Lulu (Jamaica) - Glam Affair
Shape: My own
Hair: Gaia - Truth
Slink Hands (Relaxed) - Siddean Munro
Slink Medium Feet - Siddean Munro
Frill Bikini Top (Coral) - G Field
Yoga Pants (Black) - Rebel Hope
R prop with equation and pose, DREAMING set - My own (Black Tulip)

Auryn's Quest: Everything about BFF

Lately, I was feeling as if life had turned too serious. Deadlines. Reflecting. Having to pee sitting on a frozen toilet. No more cheese in the fridge. Having to go buy more cheese. It's so exhausting to keep a straight face all the time. So I decided I would explore the daunting "exterior world". My last reads made me aware of creatures called "BFF", and I felt the need of investigating. That would make for an interesting quest! Maybe new friends to talk to!

Of course, it wasn't going to be a blind quest, and so I started listing reasonable questions whose answers I should look for. Beginning by the obvious!

So, what is a BFF? Which is their natural environment? Are they lonely creatures, or social ones? Which are their mating rituals? How about their eating habits? Are they friendly? Do they like reading in bed, or are they more of TV users? And the music? Do they like Mike Oldfield, by chance? Beatles? Nacho Cano? Any special preferences when it comes to shoes? Will they wait for me to go sleep and then eat my feet?

I decided I should wait to find those mythical creatures before making more questions to myself, for I am not the one having the answers. Weather was starting to chill, and I didn't know for how long I should be outside. So, I equipped myself in comfortable clothes and two rations of cheese. I was ready!

Dubious at first about which direction taking, I finally stepped outside from my platform. I of course forgot that stepping off the platform meant falling for almost 500 meters. A couple of bruises, but no major injuries that I should lament. The Lola's, though... I don't think I can use them again.

Well, each investigation has its risks and its losses. I dug a hole, buried the Lola's inside, and started walking.

After two hours walking north, then south, and why lying, being completely lost in a little maze of twisty passages, I finally heard a noise coming from some trees. Cautiously, I strolled up to the sound's source, and found a couple of exotic creatures. They were looking at me, I was looking at them, and I thought that the polite thing to do would be to greet and ask.

"Hello. Please excuse my intrusion. Do you happen to know where do I find a BFF?"

Their puzzled stare made clear that we would have serious issues communicating. Perhaps they're strangers and don't know the language. I should later check in Google from what country they're from, and add it to my report.

I continued walking, lost again in a twisting maze of little passages, and smiled widely when I stumbled upon found a representative of my gender. She obviously was from another species, perhaps a BFF? But no doubt, she was somebody that would understand me!

"Hi! Are you a BFF?"

I could hear the wind across the trees. A couple of bushes rolled between us, running to find a river and have in there a dramatic end for all their dreams of freedom. Birds were singing. The sky was clear. Temperature was 10 degrees (Celsius). The sea was calm. The Moon was Full. The representative of my gender continued to be silent. Either she was thinking I'm stupid, or she was waiting that I would read her mind for the answer. Sadly, I failed all of the psychic practices in high school, and eventually resigned to continue waiting for an answer. I went, alone and slightly disappointed.

I can't count all the hours that followed. I wasn't sure anymore if I had turned to east, west, or where. All those trees were a mortal trap, a twisty little maze of passages waiting for my last breath. My legs were tired, and what was worse... I was running out of cheese. I fell on my knees, in despair, and cried out loud:

"What has a girl to do, to learn what's a BFF?"

It was then when I felt their presence. I knew it was them. Hidden behind the trees, I could first see the shadows, then bright red eyes staring a me in... was that anger?

I had no chance to stand up and friendly ask if they were the mythical BBF creatures I was looking for. Several lightnings hit me. Now that answered many of my questions.

I let myself fall in the cold water of a close river. It alleviated the pain of my burns. That made to boil a couple of fishes that were close, though. My apologies: it wasn't intentional.

I finally walked outside the water, waited for my clothes to dry, and started drafting my essay about BFF living beings. I reached to a conclusion and wrote it down: if I've learned anything about these mysterious BFF creatures, is that they have no sense of humor... at all.

This post is a rendition to Sin Noticias de Gurb, Uncle Travelling Matt and Colossal Cave Adventure.

Writing for Fusion magazine

A couple of months ago, a new SL magazine saw the light, Fusion. I'm quite excited of having joined as a writer, and I'll try to approach to the average SL user, the most technical (but necessary) parts, among many other topics I have in mind. November's issue contains my first participation, under the title "Turn off the lights".

My philosophy, as I explain there, is quite simple: The world of SL is a big place with many different people and tastes, so learning the tools that allow us to minimize exposure to what we do not like, will be always beneficial for us. And, as I say there, It's my wish that these tips will help you enjoy your SL.

Check this month's issue to learn more :-)

There are also inworld kiosks from where you can subscribe. I've placed one inside my store, Black Tulip.

Enjoy!

Maturity

Rambling alert! This is a long post. You acknowledge that I cannot be held responsible of your falling sleep over the keyboard and neck damages caused by that if you decide to continue reading. This is a fair warning, placed at the top of the post :o)

When I started writing Relationships i̶n̶ ̶S̶L̶, I promised a "next post" that never came. Instead I published two consecutive posts that had nothing to do. I hadn't realized that the deadlines for all the winter events were so close in time, I needed some time to develop the "next post", and the time had to be used for the new releases.

There was a discussion about that thread in my feed, and I enjoyed it. I'm terribly curious about human behaviour, and people participating added interesting comments, and also jokes. I'm quite glad the discussion happened. It made me think about my own reasons to prefer a not so much public display of myself. Despite of what you've heard around, thinking is always a good thing :-)

Still, some replies in my feed made me wonder if I had made my point across clearly.

I never said I'm against partnerships nor against making it public. The word "hypocrite" wouldn't be good enough to fit me if I said. I also never said I'm against public displays of love and affection. Indeed I said, "I like to see people in love."

What I said was:

Each time we say that this time, this is our love forever, and each time it is not. Each time, forever lasts an average of three weeks, six months for the lucky ones.

Then why make it public each time? What's the purpose? Why do we need to repeat publicly "I love you"? Shouldn't those words be saved only for the one deserving them? Do we want to make everybody else jealous because, this time, we've found "the love of our life"?

Of course, when the bubble bursts, the situation turns ugly. There's the break up, and that alone hurts. There are all the photos that now are telling people "we failed", which adds to the injury. And there will be future photos from your ex, this time with someone else. More pain and resentment.

I would like to understand, why, if we all know this, we continue to expose ourselves constantly, voluntarily, to all the extra pain that could be easily avoided. I, for one, don't get it. I would like to understand. Please feel free to add your comments about.

I realized that two separate things were confused at that point. Probably the confusion came from here, "Why do we need to repeat publicly "I love you"? Shouldn't those words be saved only for the one deserving them?"

Although it may seem that I'm complaining about public displays of love, I'm not. Remember that I said, clearly and openly, "I like to see people in love." The key word here is "context". Those questions came right after I said "Each time we say that this time, this is our love forever, and each time it is not. Each time, forever lasts an average of three weeks, six months for the lucky ones." and so were related to that. Perhaps I should have rewritten my questions to something like this:

You have proven once and again, that every time you've said "I will love you forever", "this time this is my true love forever" (and variants)... You don't really mean it. Shouldn't you be a little more careful when you publicly say something absolute like that? What makes you feel wanting to repeat the routine of publicly exposing your next relationship, again under the "my true love forever" promise, when the odds are against you?

You'll have to trust me in this: despite of my "ice queen" ultra-rational facade, I also feel, and fall in love. I'm human, like you (whether you like it or not), and so I empathize with your feelings, with your need of saying sweet nothings. I understand why it happens. I say those things too. With perhaps one exception. I don't use the word "forever". I don't feel it's appropriate to promise eternity to each and every stranger. But that is my choice.

I feel that the way I've rewritten my questions sounds more like what I had in mind. And still, whether you believe it or not, I have absolutely no issues with your public displays of love. Real love, fake love, RP love, SL love, and many others. Whichever your choice. I'm fine with it. When I have time, I look at it (you make it public!), and when I don't have time, I just use the scroll wheel of my mouse, or simply, don't check the "Trending" tab. I just can't help myself wondering about what motivates repeated behaviours that prove to be harmful.


Anyway, none of this is actually the point of what I wanted to write next, nor my own feelings and situation are. I just felt that since I wasn't clear at that point, I should try again and clarify now.

I wrote Relationships i̶n̶ ̶S̶L̶ with a clear intention in my mind. I wanted to analyze some aspects that I find to be relevant about an incident happening in the SL feed a few weeks ago. I know that some will shake and foam, spitting words of "can't you let it go" and "witch hunt", but I know that a smart reader will realize, I'm not talking about the specific situation even though I will point to details of what happened. Just because things happen too fast on Internet, that doesn't mean I will not be taking my time to think about. I like to develop my own conclusions once I've finished with my thought process, not when the people that want to cover the truth with lies say that I should "let it go".

None of us is born being wise. Even more: when we are born, we are quite vulnerable. Neither our body nor our mind is ready to live in this world. Adults around us, normally our parents, help us grow. They are responsible for our security and our development into adults ourselves. This growing up doesn't happen suddenly. Each one of us develops body and mind at different paces, and differently from anybody else. For example, physically, I was fully developed when I was 10 years old. My mind, I tell you, wasn't as mature as my body looked like. I was still playing with my brother's construction games, and all of sudden I realize that in the event of a violent act, I could be pregnant and have a baby that would tie me forever to a life I didn't want. I can't explain how that thought shook me. I still remember the chill. I felt incredibly small and vulnerable in a world that suddenly started to show quite more dangerous than what I ever thought before my body fully developed. My parents were there. They took right decisions and they also took wrong decisions, but they never gave up their responsibility of making an adult from me.

I can recall that my mind started to also grow up when I was 15 years old. Adolescence is sure a moment of your life where the only certain you have is uncertainty about everything. When I was 15 years old, I was completely aware that even though I could start behaving as an adult, should there were consequences, my parents were legally responsible of my misbehaving. My parents had already taught me that I should always be responsible of what I do, and so I did my best not to cause them trouble. If I burned a public bench, my parents should be the ones paying for it. In my mind, that was unfair. But I understand that law can't be written to cover all the gray areas that exist in the development of a person into their adult state, and so the law needs clear lines to say "adult" and "underage". In many countries, this line is at the age of 18.

I know, it makes no sense that if the week before to be 18, I break something, my parents have to pay for it. There's not that much difference in the person I am from one week to the next. But in what comes to law, that would be a slippery slope to follow. What would be the week that "tells the difference"? So the line is clear. 18. No matter you're a more mature person since you're 16, or you're an eternal immature person even though you're now 50. From the age of 18 (in many countries), if you do something, you pay for it. You're on your own. If you do before, your parents are held responsible. (There are specific felonies where you are held responsible, though. If you think your parents will pay for your killing another, and you'll get away with it because you're 16, think twice.)

Adults should help us to grow up. This means that when we deserve to be scolded, we should be. When we deserve to learn the lesson, we should learn it. My parents never gave me an inch saying "please pity of the poor girl, she's still young, she will learn" when somebody else complained about me. They listened carefully. They never said "my daughter could never [insert whatever you want]" to the person complaining. They looked at me, stern, asking "is this true?", and since I was taught not to lie, I had to nod. They apologized to the person I caused trouble and assured it will never happen again. And oh yes. I was punished for what I did. But nowadays I thank them for those lessons.

The specific lesson they taught me is that ill deeds are ill deeds no matter how old you are, and you deserve no sympathy if you commit them. You deserve the consequences.

The fact that they never rejected somebody else's testimony with a "my daughter would never" also taught me a very valuable lesson. Nobody is sacred, specially when it comes to ill deeds.


Now, on to the SL feed. About three weeks ago, Laurin Sorbet writes in her blog that she doesn't want to interact with underage people in SL. It is a position I share, and I'm sure that many others. Unless I am in PG regions, I assume that people interacting with me are adults. Underage people shouldn't be in mature nor adult sims. I'm not talking about kid avatars, I'm talking about the real person behind the avatar. I don't go to an adult sim to have to bite my tongue and babysit others' offspring: I get employed in a kindergarten for that. My parents already taught me that each one is responsible of their own kids and nobody else's, and that nobody else should do your parenting job. They would have never allowed another adult to give me any advice. While I was growing up, they wanted me with people of my same age.

This means that when an underage person is in an adult sim, we have to think of one between two possibilities. One is that the parents know what the teen is doing, and they let them do. However, because of the nature of adult sims, I'm more inclined to the second possibility: the parents have no idea of what the teen is doing. Which by its own nature, is talking badly about what the teen does. Perhaps the teen is mature enough. I will not discuss that. It's possible. But I don't see that as mature when the act of being in an adult sim is, by definition, breaking LL's TOS if you're underage. When it comes to breaking LL's TOS and performing sexual acts with adults... It doesn't matter how mature the teen is. The law may come into play, and the law will look at the line: under, or above 18?

Some of us didn't know why Laurin was writing what it is common sense, and so asked. In her feed, the situation was clarified.

There was a girl I followed, that used to post nice pictures. She had a previous affair, and she was starting to air the new one, in a fashion like what motivated me to write Relationships i̶n̶ ̶S̶L̶ (Finally! The connection!)

Then, the couple broke up, and the girl received some "hate mail". When said like this, it doesn't look any different than any other of the many breakups you witness in the SL feed, and we quickly think "sheesh the guy" (although I'd like to see the "hate mail", for I've grown bored of the delicate skins that some have). So people sided with the "poor girl" that was "receiving hate", one of her "best friends" published the following:

(I know the person doing this doesn't deserve my consideration, but I have as an habit not to point fingers because it allows to better focus in the issue. BFF means "Best Friend Forever".)

Well. Now this makes everything different than a normal SL-breakup. Keeping aside the fact that this "best friend forever" broke the community standards when publishing the RL age of the girl within the realms of LL (so, a TOS infraction), the situation we have now is that an underage person had been performing (virtual) sexual acts with adults. Two different adults, to my knowledge.

It's none of my business who you decide to be in bed with or how often. But when you're in SL disguised as an adult, even thinking of meeting in RL... That sends chills to my spine. Perhaps you're mature enough to have sex. I will not discuss that. But if your parents/guardian find out, they may think otherwise. And I have the feeling, they are going to disagree about your maturity. But which is worse, they may go against the guy. Perhaps by then you would have confessed the age. Perhaps not. That will not save him from the consequences.

The girl finally cracked and told him the truth about her age before meeting. Honestly, I can understand if the guy was upset. I can understand if he was angry. Probably, that "hate mail" was a mere "what the hell were you thinking of?" Because if they had met, the consequences could have been very ugly for him. He has all the right to be angry, and this "best friend forever" seemed to try to take importance from that. Likely, she didn't expect that some people would react saying "wait, what... did you say... a MINOR?"

This "best friend forever" did what my parents would have never done: "Pity her! She's young! She'll learn!" This minor deserved a lesson. Like not coming back to SL and developing the kind of life a teenager should have. All the "cuddling" and "oh poor you, all the world is against you" will only teach the following lesson to this teenager: lie all you want, for you'll find somebody stupid enough to forgive you and help you get away with your lies. That's the lesson this adult teaches to a teenager. Very mature.

But the history doesn't finish here. Oh no. Once we enter into the realms of absurdity, be ready for Henry the horse dancing the waltz.

The "best friends" had setup another account so the underage person could continue in SL, and gifted it to her. Of course, they didn't seem to read section 4 of TOS, where it says:

You may not sell, transfer or assign your Account or its contractual rights, licenses and obligations, to any third party without the prior written consent of Linden Lab.

Because if they had read that, then the minor wouldn't have been seen again posting photos in the SL feed from... drumroll... ADULT SIMS.

The response of the "best friends" was to teach the teenager how to better hide. This gifted account was also suspended, as the first one was, and in the third account, the teenager says that she's a teen, under her RL tab. However, the "best friends" she hangs out with, live in an ADULT sim. The "best friend forever" says she takes care of the babysitting. The thing here is, the underage person is AGAIN breaking TOS, and you, "bestie", are doing a job that doesn't belong to you, for you are not her mother. Her mother will not be delighted if she ever finds out, although after all the teaching how to better hide coming from you, irresponsible person, I doubt the poor mother learns about this. I don't want to be in her shoes when that happens.

It is not a witch hunt to point all this, as it has been mendaciously said. It is the responsible thing to do. As adults, we cannot teach a teenager that the right thing to do is learn to hide better in places where she shouldn't be in the first place, and that saying "I'm sorry" will be enough to get away.

It is highly irresponsible, it shows no moral decency or standards at all, and personally, it makes me highly doubt about the maturity that said "adults" have, because if they've followed all this path of lies and breaking TOS, expecting also that an innocent guy was pointed like "the bad guy", they sure have no moral grounds.

As a fun detail, the "best friends" have muted some of us in a response to this (imaginary) "witch hunt". Mute away, I say! I've never talked to you in the first place, "bestie", and given what I've seen, I don't feel like talking to you anyway. Interestingly, the teenager has NOT muted us. Shouldn't have been the teenager the one muting us, if she perceived any harassment? The answer is obvious to me. As any reader can see, there's no harassment in merely exposing our opinions and our publicly say that we do not encourage the behaviour of the teenager nor of the "adults" that taught her to better lie. And only the adults felt offended by that. In that regard, the teenager did show more maturity. I think it's funny.


I will finish with one more comment. There are reasons, important reasons, why we cannot teach that "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oops I lied again" is something to forgive to "poor teenagers". You know, teenagers are underage, but they are not stupid. They can do a lot of harm. That's why I want that remains clear, after all this story, that what these "adult besties" are doing, is to plead forgiveness for this teenager who break TOS repeatedly (and so they have done too!), stepping over the uncomfortable fact that if there are RL consequences, those will be for the guy she played with.

Relationships in SL

Yes, I am in one. This may come as a surprise for many, since I've chosen not to make a public TV drama show from it in the SL Feed, and normally I'm quite cynical when I witness the next display of "I will love you forever". But there's a "he", and whether you see him or not in my photos (often, no), he's always there. That matters to me.

However, I haven't brought this up because I am now going to talk about us. I am not going to do so. Whatever happens between he and me, belongs to us and only to us. Whatever I feel, that's for him to know, and it will be my deeds, not my words, which will tell him the truth.

I've brought the topic up trying to warm myself for one of my long rambling posts (which is not this one, although it could seem like it.)

Whenever I see a new relationship starting in the SL Feed, I feel a mix. On one side, I empathize. I like to see people in love. I like to think that when people are in love, involved in living it, they will not be busy making others miserable. I admit, this may be a very simplistic and naive way of looking at it.

But despite of what we say, love never lasts forever, and the passion it starts with, lasts for even less time. I see this constantly. Some couples that are married for twenty or more years (or less!), feel now that "forever" is more like a sentence. Some of them escape, others decide that staying together might be the lesser evil and so die together. Few are the ones that pass the test of time, and are able of living always by the other's side.

Scientific medicine sure played a bad prank to the ideal of romantic love forever, when it prolonged our life expectancy an average of two point five times. It was easy to love forever when you were going to die at your 30's, if lucky. Although to be honest, I prefer the perspective of living long and healthy, than dying horribly sick at 25 but oh, so in love.

I also don't feel I'm inconsistent by claiming that "I will love you forever" is a lie while at the same time I'm involved with someone else. By taking that claim off from the equation, I know that the success of the relationship will be highly related to the result of a team work, and not of any magical influence, call it "fate", "the planets were aligned", "we were meant to be" or "the tooth fairy made it". Working on it doesn't assure you any success (Chemistry has its own rules), but the alternative, believing that "we are meant to be", "we're soul mates", will only lead you to frustration and denial once problems arise. And they will. They always do. Repeating "but we're soul mates!" will not magically solve them.

Anyway, I digress...

As I was saying, whenever I see a new relationship starting in the SL Feed, I feel a mix. Yes, I like to know that people fall in love. Up to some point, I like to look at it. But when I witness the pattern, the questions begin to pop in my mind. Each of us in SL knows that the perception of time is different inworld. Everything seems to happen faster. Relationships begin in a torrid wave and end in a hurtful storm. Each time we say that this time, this is our love forever, and each time it is not. Each time, forever lasts an average of three weeks, six months for the lucky ones.

Then why make it public each time? What's the purpose? Why do we need to repeat publicly "I love you"? Shouldn't those words be saved only for the one deserving them? Do we want to make everybody else jealous because, this time, we've found "the love of our life"?

Of course, when the bubble bursts, the situation turns ugly. There's the break up, and that alone hurts. There are all the photos that now are telling people "we failed", which adds to the injury. And there will be future photos from your ex, this time with someone else. More pain and resentment.

I would like to understand, why, if we all know this, we continue to expose ourselves constantly, voluntarily, to all the extra pain that could be easily avoided. I, for one, don't get it. I would like to understand. Please feel free to add your comments about.

PS: I am the one that in meetings with friends (in RL) says "if you take a photo from me and upload it to Facebook/Flickr/anywhere, you will need surgery to have the camera device removed from your colon". Classy. Ladylike. That's me.

PPS/ADDITION: I feel I have to add this clarification. I'm not coming here to judge what is right or wrong. My curiosity is sincere. If there are 500 different cases, I want to know about all of them. All the nuances. I would hate to simplify what it might be complex and has a different answer per person.

A ladder to nowhere

This post is my contribution to: The Writer's Block, Chapter Five

As a curious person about anything that has to do with my fellow humans' behaviour, exploring social ladders isn't an exception of what tickles my interests. "Climbing the SL social ladder" was calling me.

I first thought of writing about the dynamics: the people that are up, the people that are down, the different degrees among "down levels". It would be difficult not to mention how the ones being on top of the ladder use their position as a soapbox for their personal life, preferences or witch hunts. How they turn into our Gods to follow, our Example in Life to imitate. It would also be difficult not to talk about how the ones being down would kiss ass until having sore lips, in their attempt to climb steps and receive kind words from the Gods, kind words they could rub on your face if you're on a lesser level. "Look at me, the Gods talk to me and not to you! You're nobody!" It would be mandatory to highlight the hypocrisy and cowardice of those being down, which would never dare contradicting the Gods, even if they do not agree with said Gods, but attack all the other nobodies they don't agree with that belong to a lower level in the ladder, to show they have "an independent opinion". Sweet smiles on your face and knives flying on your back.

However, me being a nobody, I realized I would be soon pointed out like being a jealous person, having secret intentions, using this as a chance for my own climbing up the ladder, and many other spurious interpretations from my true intentions, which are merely observing and describing what I see. So I decided to leave that train of thought, and I tried to explore other aspects.

A ladder to nowhere, in Flickr.

I then thought about how those that are on the top of the ladder decide the trends, even if the trends are stupid. It doesn't matter: everybody being in a lower step in the social ladder will bleat and praise how good the trends are. How those that are on top draw the lines that say "this is right, this is wrong", and never dare having a different opinion or make questions about how they arrived to that conclusion. Never ask who gave them power to draw those lines. It would be also impossible not to mention how those that are down in the ladder drool to be on top, so they are the ones with the self-adjudicated privilege of drawing their own lines.

But trends are a matter of taste, "right and wrong" they'll tell you "this is what the majority thinks", as if the "majority" being a mass could never be wrong, and again, I am a nobody. So I realized I would have some more dozens of interpretations from my words that would never be what I wanted to say, and likely nobody else would even bother in asking me what I really meant.

And so I kept thinking what else I could explore, and got to the conclusion that the only way of safely talking about climbing the SL Social Ladder, is not to talk about it at all. In the tale, the kid pointing out that the Emperor was naked, was considered wise, but in real life, those that point out that the Emperor is naked, are the first ones to be burned.

Credits

Clothes and shoes: Teefy, Baiastice, Gos, Indyra, Milk Motion, Valentina E.
Hair: D!va, Truth, Monso
Skins: Glam Affair, Belleza
Ladder & Column Photo Prop: My own (Black Tulip)

Sweet Snakes

I had this in drafts for a month now. This question, and picture, reminded me that I had to finish it. The post could have died out of boredom in drafts, and I wanted to bring it up.

IMAGE: Sweet Snakes. Are you sure that you can really tell who they are?, in Flickr.

A few months ago, while performing my usual "profile perv" routine for every living being in the same sim as me, it was frequent to read some copy-pasted texts that made me "facepalm" to say the least. (Note: Profiles can't actually be "perved" since they are public, and are meant to be read. Whatever you don't want that others read, don't write it there :-))

"What texts?," you may wonder.

One is an ASCII art of a little puppy with a text such as "Copy this in your profile if you're against animal cruelty", another is a full pick titled something like "Post this if you're against abuse," being the text I've found as follows (I've respected the original writing on purpose):

The 14 year old girl holding hands with her 3 year old son, the one you just called a slut... She was raped at the age of 11. The girl you just called fat...shes overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly... she spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped... he is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars... he fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying... his mother is dying. Put this as your status if your against bullying. I bet 95 percent of you wont re-post this, but i'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.

Moving, right?

Call me cynical if you wish, but those lines above are prefabricated lines that are good for nothing except to feel good about ourselves. Don't get me wrong here. The cases described are for sure situations that we should avoid, but the stories are so easy to think of, that none of us would give a deeper thought about what could constitute abuse after reading that text, and that defeats the point of raising awareness against abuse.

Not to mention that, of course, copying that text sure proves that I am quite of a compassionate and understanding person, specially about abuse cases. Personally, if I was being abused, I would feel that text as an insult, to both my situation and my intelligence. The only you prove when you copy that text is that you know how to copy/paste. If you really believe it proves you are a good person, let me add that it only shows how easy is to manipulate you through your feelings. In any case, I would raise an eyebrow. Abusers are the quickest in pointing fingers to anybody else.

Likely, you're thinking that I'm having more than a sharp tongue and an excess of sarcasm case today. That could be true. Now, think about this: we all hold by the highest principles when we are not the person having a problem, or could have a problem by defending the abused one. Will you continue holding by those principles and being that compassionate, in situations where defending the abused one could make you to lose your job, your family, your properties, your health, your friends...?

Don't rush into saying "yes". I have to see what you will do in situations like some I've known about.

For example, I remember the case of a guy that I'll call Norman here. He was working in his father in law's company, managed by the elder son at that time (let's call him Robert). The real reason, as I knew later, trying to understand why Norman put himself under all that pressure, is that the in law's have asked him to investigate what was really happening in the company, for they were afraid that Robert was proceeding with some kind of fraud.

Robert wasn't naive and he figured out what his parents were up to, when they demanded the incorporation of Norman in the company. To make short a long story (since I also don't remember all the details well), this is what happened:

• Robert manipulated people in the company to block Norman's ability to work.
• Robert played several legal tricks to fire Norman.
• People in the company knew they were doing wrong, but because they feared losing their jobs, they played as Robert's pawns attacking Norman.
• Norman could complete his investigation anyway. As the truth of the size of the fraud was closer to be revealed, his in-law's became emotional and gave Robert all the legal power to hit Norman within the company.
• The extent of the fraud that Norman found out about was appalling. The authorities went against Robert because of another fraud that wasn't what Norman was investigating, but financed with that money anyway.
• Charges and a high fine were filed against Robert. The company closed. All the people that collaborated in helping Robert, the abuser, because of their fear, ended up losing their jobs when the economical crisis started to hit the country hard.
• Norman's wife, unable to believe what her parents had done, cut the communication with them. They, in exchange, disowned her, for not divorcing from Norman, "who is guilty of the closure of the company and the problems your brother Robert has now".

Not bad. The abused is bullied and portrayed as guilty of what happened. If you ask me, I don't know what I would do unless I live that situation. Yes, sure, "you're against abuse". Does that mean you wouldn't let Robert to manipulate you through your fear? Let me doubt it.


This case is likely a not so subtle abuse case. There are hostilities in the open. And still, it shows that in difficult situations, most people are cowards and consent and favor abuse in hopes that it will not turn against them. If this happens when abuse is so clear, what would you expect when the abuser is a sweet snake? Let me go for another story.


Sarah (let's call her that way) was very timid and fearful of people when she started working in a certain advertising company. She was warmly welcomed, and soon she felt at ease, focused, and making a good job. She tried not to enter in disputes and to be fair when colleagues argued, asking to each side of the confrontation to see the situation with perspective. When arguments were up, she never took a stance for anyone, to avoid being dragged into the "he said, she said, you said" office drama dynamics.

There were a couple of colleagues that used to be always arguing with almost everybody (Martin and Leanne), because reality didn't fit into their strict vision of world. They were often right, but they were also often a source of conflict because of their attitude, and Sarah was always in the middle trying to mediate and achieve some peace. Since they were good in their job, and Sarah was always there to mediate and avoid conflicts, the company had no issues in keeping them.

After four years, Sarah's job was often praised, as well as her pacifying skills. One year after, another girl joined this company. Let's call her Vivian. Vivian wasn't specially skilled, but she was very sweet and kind, and because of her youth, Sarah thought she'd help her acquire the skills that Vivian was obviously lacking, mentoring her. Sarah always welcomed new people at work.

It was first Martin who started complaining about Vivian. Apparently, Vivian was making a lot of mistakes that didn't want to admit, while at the same time trying to copy Martin's work. Sarah mediated once more. It seemed clear that Martin's attitude was scaring the sweet Vivian, and Vivian used to tell Sarah "it's like nobody here likes me... at times I feel I should quit". The copying part was justified by Sarah as "Martin, please understand that Vivian is still learning... maybe it's telling something good about you, that she's chosen to follow your line of work".

Time goes by, and after several arguments this time with Sarah, Martin requested to be transferred to another department. Sarah couldn't believe at that point Vivian's continued mistakes. She wanted to believe that youth was the answer, and she talked to her about all of them. Vivian said "I'm sorry" and excused herself in the stress caused by being under the constant attack of Martin, who obviously didn't like her. When Martin's transfer request was accepted, Vivian had a slip, "finally that moron is away from here". Sarah didn't hear it, but Leanne did.

The story repeated now with Leanne. This time, Sarah began being more wary about Vivian. She also noticed a detail that scared her: Vivian was dressing exactly like her. Vivian noticed Sarah's wariness. Before Sarah had time to see it coming, for she was always busy either working or covering someone else's back, her bosses notified her of a complaint. According to that complaint, her behaviour was the cause of the many disputes happening in the last months in the company. They said having investigated it, and taken the decision of sending her home for a couple of days so she could "relax and focus again in the company's interests".

Sarah couldn't believe it. While she was at home, Leanne called her. "She's using your projects telling everybody she came up with them. She's not even waited for your second day's absence. Now tell me again she's a sweet person." Sarah realized she had been Vivian's target from the first day. Now it would be impossible for her to explain to her bosses what happened, since it was her, Sarah, who defended Vivian when other colleagues had issues with her, trying to be fair to the fact that Vivian was "young and lacking experience".

She decided to quit. The colleagues, although didn't want to confront the bosses, also decided to turn their backs to Vivian, as a protest to Sarah's quitting. Vivian couldn't use anyone anymore to blame because of her mistakes, and was eventually fired. Sarah never received an apology call.


Now this case is more subtle. Leanne and Martin's normal attitude made it difficult to realize that Vivian was jealous and needed the praise and the attention.

It's even more difficult to spot abuse when it consists of an accumulation of "often disdain in small doses, disguised as valid criticism" (what I call at times "the water drop technique" - A water drop alone does nothing. But one after the other fill a bucket and the bucket eventually overflows.)

For the abused, it's evident what's going on. But for everybody else, the abused seems to be obsessed about the abuser. To the eyes of everybody else, the abused looks like the abuser, like a person unable of admitting criticism and thus attacking the critic. They will not see anything weird in those "small doses", and because they are "small", when the abused tries to explain, everybody else says "oh come on, such a big deal over that little thing?" The abused is portrayed like someone overreacting, and nobody takes you seriously then. Everybody is collaborating with your abuser, by denying the abuse is happening, by denying even a slight consideration to the possibility. And it seems like the right and rational thing to do. The abuser knows, and takes advantage from it.


Something that seems to be a "common denominator" in all these stories is that seen from outside, you can't believe that people allowed to be so easily manipulated. For example, in Norman's case, people at the office could have chosen not favoring the investigation, but not attacking him either. They did. They did out of fear, and what they feared, happened anyway. Sarah should have realized earlier what Vivian was about, but Leanne and Martin's attitude made her think it was all a matter of jealousy. And what to say about the "water drop falling again and again" kind of abuse?

My conclusion here is that abuse seems clear from outside and once it happened and all is over. But while it's happening, and specially if you're one of the people involved (abused, abuser's pawn, etc.)... it doesn't seem so easy to tell. Now, how do you feel about? You keep thinking that spotting abuse, and so being empathetic, is so easy? Good luck in your life if the answer is a definite "yes".

IMAGE: Sweet Snakes. Are you sure that you can really tell who they are?, in Flickr.

Inspiration

As some may know, my store belongs to the "Sixty Linden Weekends" sales group. It is not obligated for us to submit news every week, but truth being said, it's good practice trying to do so, because it keeps you on your feet, and chances you'll neglect your store, lower. However, coming up with new things every week, at times, is challenging. I wish that books and scripts hadn't such a long creation process: there's a lot of beta testing, reviewing, documenting and proof reading involved. I just can't come up with one of them new every week, as a rule (and some of my scripts are in "update for improvements" stage, which adds to my slow process.)

When it comes to creating furniture, I don't hide where my "sources of inspiration" come from. I like walking, and so I walk by many stores. I see things I like, and when I'm back home, if it coincides that I remember about them and Blender is open, I start sketching something like what I've seen. In the end, I most likely make something that has nothing to do with the piece I saw in RL. Other times, there are more resemblances. Other times, it's just something that came in my mind by no apparent reason, perhaps I saw it long ago and I don't remember, or who knows. Or something I happen to have at home. But the source of inspiration is there: the real world, constantly around.

Am I more or less original because of this? More or less exclusive? Honestly, I don't care. I care in modeling my own pieces, in being aware of any potential copyright/license issue, and in trying to make the final result, my own thing.

For example, I will not model a "Hello Kitty" to then sell it. My full permission kits include only textures I've made from scratch and my own photographs: I know they aren't great textures, but I am sure that I can distribute them with all the guarantees for people that come to my store. (I keep all the originals and all the stages of the creation process, which are also documented. In case of need, I can prove that my work is mine.) Sorry: I digress.

Nowadays, I want to make a chaise lounge, Victorian style: we have one at home with some modeling poses, but I want to do my own, and my own set of poses. Since I don't have any Victorian style furniture store at home, what do I do? I look for images in Google, to have a reference.

I know that my final model isn't going to be an "oh my god, this is a complete revolution within the Victorian style, totally new in its genre!" Most likely, people will look at it, and will be able to tell "ah yes, a Victorian chaise lounge." The part I can assure is, all the vertexes will be placed by me in Blender, using my current set of skills.

Will be my chaise more original than others? I highly doubt so.

I bring this up because at times, it seems that if you don't design something that doesn't exist yet in the real world or any virtual world, you're "copying from the first designer that made this completely original thing, never existing before."

I'm very concerned about stolen content, but I dislike when situations/conversations border the stupid line. (And for the record, I'm no fan of witch hunts nor of "vigilante" groups. They end up being used for drama and harassing legitimate creators. We have problems enough with stolen content as to rip our eyes off among ourselves. No, thanks.)

I happened to heard recently such a conversation. It was between someone that likes Anthonys Republic's work, and Anthonys himself. This person was very enthusiastic talking about how they loved his work, and truth being said, I know his work too, and I've always liked it. Bummer that some pieces required a lot of prims (now with mesh, things are a lot better in that respect), but it's good quality and detail. Some of my scripts have samples using his sculpts, and when people ask me about where to get them, I always send them to his store (normally, to the exact Marketplace page with that item).

Now, one thing is to acknowledge that his work is good (it is), and a different one, to say that his designs are "his" as in "never, ever, seen before, no inspiration taken from any existent source". That's what this person said, and what itched me. This person told him that it was a pity that so many other full perm creators weren't original and had copied "his designs".

I happen to know several of those designs: for instance, Katy Dirkle and McChris Flannagan have their own Victorian style chaise lounge. Have they copied them from Anthonys? Honestly, I don't think so. They're clearly their own models, and they're clearly inspired in the Victorian style... same as Anthonys' work.

Because, really, one doesn't expect that I'm buying that this real life piece, and this design from Anthonys, don't look alike at all, right?

I haven't had to spend much time to find that link: just type "victorian chaise lounge" in Google images.

I am not the one having an issue in Anthonys, or Katy, or any other creator, having their inspiration sources. They abide by the rules. I have an issue in people walking to the extreme path of assuming that there was ever only one Victorian style, and those were Anthonys' models. It shows illiteracy, being a fan-boy, or both, and it only helps to spreading rumors that start by "he copied... she copied...", and those, we know, they never end well.

So here I am, thinking about making my own chaise, and wondering if I'd be pointed as having copied some other SL creator's completely original Victorian designs :-|

Home Selection - Home and Garden Expo 2013

Second post about some items from all I've checked out from the Home and Garden Expo items. This time, the "home selection" :-)

First one is this "Dragon Caged" item from The Dark Fae (previously, Curvasive). Creatures of the darkness have homes too, and Corvie has a nice selection of items for them (and for everybody else.)

Full permission creators are also in the Expo! (Like myself)

I've quickly made a prim-basket to show one of the "Wicker Textures" that Samantha Zwicked (Zwicked Textures) has prepared for the Expo. I say it looks quite good :-)

Please remember to check the licenses when you purchase full permission/copy-transfer items!

Now I want to show the three items I've used to compose this nook:

On one side, we have this gorgeous "Bitter Walnut Grandfather Clock" from Roawenwood:

I prefer how it looks at night (the picture following), but on the previous picture you can see better the details. It keeps the current SL time, moving the handles, and on click, will whisper the time in local chat.

Then we have this fun "Fire Escape Shelf" from Park Place. Now my books can run for their life if there's a fire! :-)

And finally this cute "Ladder Shelf" with accessories from Cobblestone:

It's less than one hour for the Expo to open!

Should you decide to visit, here you have all the taxis:

Home & Garden Expo - Sim 1
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 2
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 3
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 4
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 5
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 6
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 7
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 8
Home & Garden Expo - Sim 9

Breedables Fair 1
Breedables Fair 2

The Expo will close on June 2nd. Have fun! :-)

Garden Selection - Home and Garden Expo 2013

I know I'm quite far from what could be called a "professional blogger" (whatever that means anyway.) However, since I finished my display with time enough, I popped at the platform where we were putting out the gifts for the bloggers, looked around the shelves, and thought "perhaps I could post a few pictures myself."

In this first post I want to show what tickled me the most from the garden items I've checked out.

First is this beautiful and peaceful "Cherry Blossom Place" from Two Moon Gardens.

It has a beautiful seat in the middle. It's using an old sitter system with many scripts, but the good news is, the objects are modify, so we can replace this by our own sitter system if we so wish :-)

Then, I've liked this garden cafe table and chairs set from What Next:

The tray dispenses some wearables when clicked (upon menu choice). Don't forget to add instead of wearing if, like I do, you have mesh hands on :o)

Last but not least is this "Fancy Schmancy Fleurs" from Meadow Works:

In fact, this has been my favorite-favorite from all the garden items I've checked out. It's a beautiful, evocative and dreamy piece. The menu messages to select how many butterflies you want have also made me smile. Well done, Garvie!

That's it for now. I hope having some more pictures after having had lunch :-)

The Expo opens today at Noon!